To Stay Married, Keep Dating
|
One of my favorite memories from last year was not watching my young daughters rip into their Christmas presents, or seeing them perform in the school talent show. No, my happiest recollection was the date my husband and I went out on one stormy Tuesday night in November.
A few days before, we'd had our fill of running the girls to swimming lessons and fighting with them to do their homework. We could not endure the sight of one more PTA notice requesting money for this fundraiser or attendance at that meeting. We broke. We called a sitter and reserved a table at the most elegant restaurant in town.
And what a night it was. The sitter was late, of course, and the wind snapped off tree branches and hurled them at our car, but we made it. The food, the wine, and the service were fine. We put the children firmly out of our minds. By the time the salad came, we were sufficiently unwound.
We started having fun. We were laughing. The subjects of the weird charge on our cell phone bill or our dire need for a new refrigerator never entered the discussion. We were transformed into the couple we used to be before children, two cars, and a mortgage. We were footloose, fancy free, and out for a good time.
The happiness of that evening stayed with us for many days. We were attentive to one another. We remembered why we'd gotten married and were glad for it, proving my mother's advice that happy couples continue to date each other forever.
"It's important," she'd say.
But, in the early years of our marriage, I'd make excuses. Diaper and formula bills left little money for nights out on the town. It was impossible to find a good babysitter. It was selfish of us to take time away from the children.
"Make it a priority," my mother would respond. "Children are the result of the marriage, not the reason for it."
Like a lot of couples, my husband and I had forgotten that. We'd completely wrapped ourselves up in our children and their needs. We started losing sight of each other, but we knew that if we didn't make time for our relationship, our children would grow up and we'd be left behind, looking at each other and wondering, "Who the heck is this person?"
So we decided to make it a goal to go out on a date once a month (once a week is better, according to my mother), and I heartily recommend you do the same. If you're a woman and your husband is reluctant, don't guilt trip him into "taking" you out. You're not luggage. Instead, remind him that you love him, and tell him that you miss having him to yourself. That should convince him.
I'm not going to pretend it's ever easy to squeeze a date onto a calendar of never-ending responsibilities. It isn't. My husband and I had dinner plans tonight, but we had to cancel due to an event at our daughters' school. It's disappointing, but it won't deter us. We'll just reschedule our night out for next week.
We've made it a priority because, as my mother counseled, our happy marriage depends on it.
Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of "How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams." Visit her website at http://www.marrysmart.com .
|
|
|
Creating A Prenuptial Agreement
Embarking upon a marriage is a wonderful time in life - emotions are running high and you have great optimism about the future you will...(related: Marriage Wedding)
How To Tell An Extraordinary Wedding Disc Jockey From Someone Who Could Ruin Your Reception
You have your band (around your finger), now it's time to find your Wedding disc jockey. You search the internet for "Wedding disc jockey" and come up with a list of potential wedding disc jockey choices. Now, how do you wade through the rheteroric "Connecticut's ...(related: Marriage Wedding)
How To Have A Sizzler Of A Honeymoon! Article No.1
Henry Vlll and Elizabeth Taylor, who between them had fourteen spouses, would have had quite a few headaches planning their weddings. There would be the obvious ones ? Shall I wear white for my marriage to Eddie Fisher? After all, even though this is my fourth wedding I am only 27 and white looks magnificent on me! And the less obvious ones ? Should I invite all my ex ex ex wives' relatives to the wedding? For if the truth be known, I've always been more fond of them, than of her.But the greatest quandary for all couples, whet...(related: Marriage Wedding)
Before You Begin Marriage Counseling, Ask This Question
There's an important question that you need to ask the marriage counselor you and your spouse are considering using. The question itself may surprise you, as well as the answer your potential counselor gives.It's an often-overlooked question that hardly anyone ever talks about. Therapists don't include it in articles they write about how to select a good counselor, so you're unlikely to read about it. I've never heard of the topic being discussed on the popular daytime television shows that delve into so many varied subjects.But the answer to this important question could save you time, money, and energy spent with the wrong therapist. It's a good question to use as a deciding factor if you narrow your search for a marriage counselor down to two or three possibilities, and all look fairly equal in education, training,...(related: Marriage Wedding)
The Surge Of The Urge!
Have you ever heard the expression, "The Urge to Merge"?It is a term relating to sexuality and marriage. The "URGE" symbolizes sexual interest, and the "MERGE" symbolizes marriage union.We see it all around us!Late night TV bombards us with sexual images and sensual content. Commercials that have nothing to do with sex use a sensual foundation to market to the masses. More than ever in history our minds seem to be more interested in the sex-drive channel than in channeling the sex-drive.We call this, "The SURGE of the URGE".Let's travel back in time about sixty years before we became so technologically advanced and started opening up the bedroom ...(related: Marriage Wedding)
How To Find, Select, And Afford A Wedding Photographer
You are engaged and one of the most important days in your life is fast approaching. Your wedding day will be filled with happiness and emotion. Family and friends will be there; some you have not seen in many years. It will be a wonderful day for you to remember and share. There will be so many things going on of which most you will not even know about until you look at the wedding photographs.Choosing a photographer may be a difficult and daunting task; and affording it may be even more cumbersome. You may be apt to ask a friend or relative to photograph it for yo...(related: Marriage Wedding)
3 Steps To Marrying The Right Person
Marrying for love, financial security and/or companionship does not guarantee long lasting happiness. While legitimate reasons for entering into a marriage, they can blind a person to the signs of a doomed relationship.Currently, more than 40 million people aged 20-49 are divorced or separated according to the U.S. Census Bureau's Annual Social and Economic Supplement. Luckily, there are 41 million people who still have time to reduce their odds of becoming a statistic.Here are three steps to help you eliminate incompatible dates and bring yourself closer to marriage.1. First, write down 20 things that you strongly believe.For example, do you strongly believe that:
- One person should remain in the home with the children
- Household bills should be evenly split or men should...(related: Marriage Wedding)
Whats A Goldfish Doing At A Wedding?
Time was when you'd open a wedding invitation you'd find an understated high quality piece of parchment, with an uncompromisingly clear font, requesting, ever so formally, the honour of your presence.Then came radical changes, described by those in the know as, giving the wedding back to ...(related: Marriage Wedding)
Anniversary Gift Ideas: Sweet And Sexy Speaks Volumes
There are many great options to consider for letting your significant other know how special they are. An Anniversary is a very special time in a couples' life, and merits much thought. I hope that I can pass on a few helpful suggestions to get your creativity flowing, so that you can be rel...(related: Marriage Wedding)
The A To Z Guide For Your Wedding Day
AttendantsAttendants, include the best man, Bridesmaid, ushers, and groomsmen. Generally any people with some sort of responsibility on the big day. How many attendants are up to you but you need to consider the size of the church and your budget for the outfits and gifts. You need to rely on these for some of the organization of the day so choose carefully, the last thing you need is someone irresponsible in charge of the "rings...(related: Marriage Wedding)
The Definition Of Love
I saw real love while working at a cozy, candle-lit Italian restaurant with great ambiance and really deli...(related: Marriage Wedding)
site-map - Copyright © 2006 | Contact Webmaster | Weddings & Honeymoons | All Rights Reserved. | Marriage Wedding