How To Nurture Intimacy When Youre In A Long-distance Marriage
|
The biggest problem long-distance spouses often face is how to keep emotional intimacy alive when they are separated. If you are in a long-distance marriage, you are probably already using email and the telephone as much as possible to stay in touch. But what else can you do to stay connected with your partner and not lose that special bond between you?
One suggestion is to take the extra time to also send "snail mail" greeting cards, letters, and postcards when possible. Buy an assortment of cards when you have a chance, and that will make it easier to send out one or two cards each week. Vary the type of cards that you send--some romantic, some funny. You could also send postcards to add variety and show scenes of the geographic area where you are working.
In your letters and emails, don't only talk about what activities you've been involved in, but be sure to share your feelings about what's going on in your life. Ask feeling-related questions, such as "Do you ever worry that one day we'll have been married 20 years and we'll discover that we don't really know each other?" Also share memories and experiences from childhood and the years before you met.
Write your spouse a letter telling her (or him)what you love about her,what attracted you to her, what you admire about her, and why you want to stay married to her. Before you send it to her, make a copy for yourself and read it once a day to remind yourself of all the positives about your spouse. Ask her to do the same for you.
Look for ways to create reminders that will trigger thoughts of each other when you're apart. For example, you might consider naming a star for your spouse at the International Star Registry (www.starregistry.com). Then, each starry night, you will both feel connected as you look for "your star."
You might come up with some other symbols to trigger your thoughts, such as agreeing to think of each other every time you see a certain type of bird. Or pick a car with special meaning and think of each other every time you see a red Camaro, for example. Perhaps you will both agree to listen to a certain song on a CD before you go to sleep each night, knowing the other person is doing the same thing.
Brainstorm about ways you can feel connected even when you're not talking on the phone or emailing each other. Mail your husband (or wife) a tape of yourself reading a love poem or sweet letter you have written to him. Send small surprise gifts when you can. They don't have to be expensive; they just need to show that you're thinking of him.
You could order gifts of gourmet candy, nuts, popcorn, flowers, or other items from the Internet. Or you could give a magazine subscription to your spouse so she (or he) will think of you each time the publication arrives. Another idea is to send her a new CD that you think she'll like or a paperback book.
Consider creating your own web site where you can post photos you both take with a digital camera. The pictures could show scenes from your life apart and also pictures from the times you are together. Over time, this would document your history as well as your current life as a couple. One site that provides free web hosting for family web sites is www.myfamily.com.
Other ideas include having a print shop like Kinko's put a photograph of you and your spouse on coffee mugs, or having a photograph put on a T-shirt or sweatshirt for each of you. If you have some common interests in reading or listening to audio books, pick a book to read or listen to at the same time and then discuss it as you go along.
Put on your creative thinking cap and experiment to see what works best for the two of you. By using your imagination, you can deepen your emotional connection with your spouse, even though you're physically separated by thousands of miles.
Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" The e-book is available at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com , where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine. Contact Nancy at Nancy@KeepYourMarriage.com.
|
|
|
Planning The Music For Your Wedding Ceremony
It's safe to say that out of all the events for which you will gather your friends and family to celebrate your marriage, the wedding ceremony itself will be the most meaningful and, hopefully, memorable. In the United States, music plays many vital roles in the wedding ceremony, from providing flow and ambiance to highlighting the deeper emotional meaning. Many former brides and grooms remember the songs played at their weddings for the rest of their lives, and they can relive that romantic day when hearing those songs again.Since music is so important to your wedding ceremony, I always advise hiring one or more live, experienced, professional musicians to handle it. Qualified, well...(related: Marriage Wedding)
Wedding Budget - What Can You Do To Shave It, Yet Still Have A Memorable Wedding?
OK, so you have your heart set on the top banquet facility in the area. The only thing is once you've done that, your wedding budget is shot. The $75/pp meal charge quickly becomes $100/pp with the 18% gratuity & other hidden charges. Your heart races as you hear that the facility won't even lock in the prices. You book your wedding in 2004 and by the time the wedding comes around in 2006, there could be a 10-20% increase in price.Once your budget is blown on the banquet facility - the thing is - you've doomed yourself. Now, you have to compromise on your photographer and which package that you wanted. You end up with a $500 DJ instead of the $1,500 one that you really liked. ...(related: Marriage Wedding)
Beyond Her Grasp
I am a woman, 42, who three years ago married a wonderful man who will be 48 on his next birthday. I love him very, very much. The only problem is our sex life is horrible. Pretty much nonexistent. I can safely say we have had sex maybe 20 times in our six year relationship.When I've tried numerous times to talk to him, he gets defensive and says, "There's nothing wrong with me." He also says, if I want to have sex, I should just say so. But when I make advances, he pushes me away thinking I am playing with him. Then he leaves the room. Of course I get frustrated, out of the mood, and give up.I love my husband so much I don't make a big deal of it, although I know this is not normal or healthy. I can't get him to go to counseling or discuss this. I am at my sexual peak, and I am tired of...(related: Marriage Wedding)
Belize Honeymoon Resorts
The enchanting Belize honeymoon resorts captivate every visitor through the appealing secluded jungle atmosphere as well as the beautiful hideaway crystal-clear beaches. One of these resorts would be the Turtle Inn Resort Located in Placencia in Belize, which promises a stay within the natural wonders of the tropical coast. This resorts promises fine luxury amenities, spa activities, fine dining and plenty of land and sea adventures. Another destination would be the Cahal Pech Village Resort, which offers customized packages for a most memorable honeymoon in Belize. The Maruba resort Jungle Spa is a boutique hotel that offers a mix o...(related: Marriage Wedding)
Las Vegas Wedding Receptions
Las Vegas wedding receptions are where people tend to go absolutely wild. For most people, the ceremony is not where the real action is. The real action begins at the party that follows the ceremony ? and the two don't have to be held in the same place. You can have a traditional wedding ceremony at a chapel, at the County Clerk's Office or anywhere you choose and then you can have a party for as many people as you'd like anywhere else in town.Las Vegas wedding receptions are legendary and not just for the rich and famous. You can arrange to party until dawn and nobody will raise an eyebrow. You can start with dinner and dancing, move to the pool area and then back inside for an all night catered affair complete with lounge singers, a constant flow of food and beverages to your lik...(related: Marriage Wedding)
Lingerie Party Ideas: Tips To Help Break The Ice
Are you in the process of planning that last special party for the soon to be bride?Before you go strait to the "good stuff", you may want to break the ice with some fun and games. Not only will people feel more comfortable but the event itself will be much more memorable.The first decision that you need to make is if you are going to host a "nice girl" party or a "naughty girl" party? Once that you have made that decision, you can pick a theme for your party. Some people choose to go with a party based on one's favorite movie or actor. Some even choose to do the party based on one's favorite time period. The options are endless and can be picked based on the bachelorette's likings. However, whichever theme that you choose to go with, whether naughty or nice, some form of game should be utilize...(related: Marriage Wedding)
Organising Your Wedding Stationery
Of all the things you need to do, buy and organize in preparation for your wedding, wedding stationery is something that must be planned ahead. After all, you need to let your guests know we...(related: Marriage Wedding)
Maui: A Prime Wedding Destination
Most visitors to Hawaii would agree that Maui is the most beautiful of all the settled islands there. For your wedding ceremony, for that special day you'll remember for the rest of your lives, there's no better location than Maui. When most people think of Maui, one of the first things that come to mind are the beaches -- Maui has some of the most picturesque, beautiful beaches anywhere in the world, making i...(related: Marriage Wedding)
Titanium Mens Wedding Rings ? The Contemporary Look For The Modern Man
The wearing of a man wedding ring is a relatively modern phenomenon. So is the use of Titanium in Titanium mens rings.One of the newest and classiest of the modern jewelry materials, Titanium is setting a standard in the looks of contemporary mens wedding bands.Despite this, mens titanium rings are reasonably hard to find in your local jew...(related: Marriage Wedding)
How Optimism Can Help ? Or Hurt ? Your Marriage
Beth and Tom were happily married for over 25 years ? no small feat in today's world. At first, their friends could not understand how their marriage succeeded, due to numerous perceived shortcomings.However, closer scrutiny of their marriage revealed that it was their thinking patterns ? the ways they explained and interpreted their partner's behavior to themselves ? that strengthened, rather than weakened, their marriage.Tom's lack of self-confidence? No problem! This only made Beth feel very caring toward him. His stubbornness and obstinacy? Again Beth explained this to herself as "I respect him for his strong beliefs and it helps me have confidence...(related: Marriage Wedding)
Ten Beliefs That Can Contribute To An Unhappy Marriage
Have you ever wondered why your marriage isn't happier? If so, you're not alone. Numerous spouses are struggling with the same question.At least part of the answer may lie in the words you use in your self-talk and in what you say to your spouse. And what you believe, the lie...(related: Marriage Wedding)
Choosing Your Wedding Favors
How do you give thanks and make a lasting impression on your guest? The answer is simple, with a wedding favor. A wedding favor is a small token of appreciation for your guest to treasure and remember your special wedding day. Choosing the right wedding favor should represent both the bride and groom's personal style or personality, culture and your wedding theme. Many wedding books and planners suggest ordering your favors at least two months prior to your wedding day.What I have always believed in my years of attending many weddings is to give a gift that your guest wil...(related: Marriage Wedding)
site-map - Copyright © 2006 | Contact Webmaster | Weddings & Honeymoons | All Rights Reserved. | Marriage Wedding