How To Keep Love Alive In Your Marriage
|
In the beginning of a relationship, love seems to have a life of its own. Without much effort, you feel like you are on top of the world. You catch yourself smiling and laughing often, and feeling warm inside whenever you are with your loved one. Everything and everyone suddenly appears better through the rose-colored glasses of love. This euphoric feeling does not last forever, however. After the first year of marriage, the day to day activities of being married, working in a job, raising a family, buying and maintaining a home, etc., all take their toll, and romance takes a back seat.
Love has to be worked on, just like a gardener with his garden. Although he has planted the seeds, and expects the sun and rain to do most of the work, he still has to pull the weeds out of the garden, to fertilize it, and water it if there isn't enough rain. That is the same with a healthy, loving relationship. When love becomes a high priority in a marriage, it is taken care of and nurtured daily. The resulting love rewards you by growing into a more mature, mellow, committed feeling, and when tested, rises up to meet the challenge. How does one keep love alive in a marriage?
Make Time
You need to designate quality time with your loved one. Don't take it for granted that he/she will always be there when you want them. Remember all those dates you took when you were courting? Now, it's not so easy. There's usually someone else making demands on him/her ? whether it's the children with their homework, or the boss expecting you to work late hours, or even an elderly parent that requires assistance. Also, it now might require finding a baby-sitter, or juggling the time with another activity that might take precedence. Whatever happens, make time for each other. Also, make time to hug and/or kiss each other often. You'll be glad you did. The time you spend together will re-energize you and make you feel good for the rest of the day.
If you can't get away, you can still set a date at home, after the children are asleep. The important thing is to have fun together. Here are a few things you can plan to do at home together:
This is not the time to solve life's problems or issues. If there are any lurking issues in the background (and these may be keeping you from enjoying yourself), then sometimes you just might have to talk about it first, get it out in the open in a loving environment, then continue with your plans. Often, positive energy is tied up within us when a problem or issue has not been resolved.
Use these times to tell him/her how special they are to you (how intelligent, how thoughtful, how loving, how caring, etc.).
What is Romance?
Romance is the opportunity to show your loved one how special he/she is to you. It means taking the time for them, and making time, even if you don't have it. It doesn't mean thinking only about yourself, or having only your needs met. It means putting the other person first. Here are some ideas to spice up your romance:
If your spouse doesn't do things for you, then show him/her by gently pointing out what you like. If you like flowers for your birthday, and you haven't gotten flowers, then let them know, particularly when he/she asks you what you would like. Don't think they can read your mind, let them know.
Communicate, Communicate, Communicate
Over time, we learn how to read our spouse. Their behavior, their actions, are important clues that alert us to how they are feeling. Often, we think we know what they are thinking, and we become sloppy, and don't talk about it, or they don't bring it up.
For example, if he had a bad day at the office, and comes home snapping at the children and being tense, the last thing to do is to take it personally. Invite him to relax, as dinner is prepared, then after he's eaten, ask him how his day was. Sooner or later, the truth will come out, and you will learn what happened. You need to be a responsive listener, and not criticize your spouse, for he will surely clam up. The last thing he wants to hear is criticism.
Other signs that can bring on a spouse's anger/tenseness:
Hunger: If your spouse hasn't eaten for awhile, not only their stomach growls, but they growl also. Keep your husband well fed (but not overfed)
Criticism: Try and avoid criticizing your partner. If there is something bothering you, then voice it in a way that you don't point fingers or blame him/her. Try not to keep distance between you. Communicate your feelings, how his/her action affected you, and how you were hurt by that action. Never, ever criticize your spouse in public. An apology is forthcoming, no matter how right you thought you were.
Tiredness: If your husband has been working all day, and you ask him to do a bunch of chores when he gets home, don't expect him to thank you. See if you can spread the chores out, so they include the weekend. Planning ahead helps here.
Take Care of Your Body
Although you may not look like you did when you were dating years ago, you can take measures to look just as good if not better.
Don't Substitute
Don't substitute anyone or anything else for your loved one. Don't go to a coworker or a friend, and share intimate secrets, because you may be betraying your loved one's trust. Don't watch television or be on the computer all the time, when you could be spending quality time with your loved one. Don't spend all your time with the children, ignoring your spouse, because your husband or wife should be number one on the list.
If people, organizations, or children clamor for your attention, put your spouse first, and then them. When you put your spouse first, you'll notice you won't need to be going to all these other people for emotional support. You'll also notice you'll be having more fun with the person you'll spend the rest of your life with. Don't underestimate the importance of love in a marriage. Cherish and nurture it, and you will have made the best investment in your life.
About The Author
Patty Apostolides is author of Lipsi's Daughter. She has also published poetry and written several articles. Her website showcases her work: http://www.geocities.com/10500bc/index.html
|
|
|
Wedding Jewelry Tips Tricks And Helpful Hints
So your not one of those fabulous actresses or models who has the luxury of the finest gems and diamonds being loaned to them by the likes of Harry Wintson. No matter, you can add a little sparkle and look extra-ordinaire in your gown on your wedding day. Here's some helpful tips on how to shine on your most important day!Faking It is Fine! It doesn't matter if you cannot afford to adorn...(related: Marriage Wedding)
How To Make Your Wedding Vows Something You?ll Remember Forever
If you're going the increasingly popular route of personalizing your own wedding vows, you're probably looking for some tips to make your vows as special, meaningful, and eloquent as you can. This is something that will take time beforehand so that you can prepare yourself and become completely comfortable with what you're saying. Remember, you're not just saying pretty ...(related: Marriage Wedding)
How To Choose The Perfect Headpiece And Veil For Your Facial And Body Features
All brides want to be beautiful on their wedding day, and often it is easy for them to picture themselves in a wedding gown. But once something is placed upon the head, the whole perception of self-image is altered. A well-designed veil will accent or de-emphasize certain facial or body features if chos...(related: Marriage Wedding)
Planning Weddings On A Budget
Planning as early as possible for your wedding is the key to maintaining a budget you can afford. It is a good idea for both the future Bride and Groom to do this together. You may find that you have two completely different ideas of what your wedding should cost.Make a list for each area of your wedding. This will help you in coming up with a total cost for your special day. Include the amount you would like to spend and who will be paying for each area. The following is a list of some area's you may want to consider adding to your list:1. Wedding accessories and gown2. Grooms Formalwear3. Bridal Jewelry4. Ce...(related: Marriage Wedding)
Las Vegas Theme Weddings
"Las Vegas theme weddings are the envy of the world. Nowhere else on planet earth can you find such a dazzling array of choices for a theme wedding. If you can't find it in Las Vegas, it simply doesn't exist! Here's a partial list of just some of the different themes available in Las Vegas:?The Rock and Roll wedding ? be the rock star marrying his favorite groupie. ?The Camelot wedding ? b...(related: Marriage Wedding)
Focus On What Is Important ? Your Wedding Disc Jockey Choice
Your true love got down on his knees and asked you to marry him. Barely able to get the words out, you say "I Will". That is but the first of many choices you must make when planning a wedding. So many people get caught up in the buying frenzy of wedding planning, that they lose sight of the thing that really matters.Choosing your Wedding disc jockey should not be one of the final details. In a recent survey of brides-to-be, they ranked choosing their wedding photographer more than twice as important as their Wedding disc jockey. Let's think about this ? sure, wedding photography is important when it comes to capturing the moment. If your photog...(related: Marriage Wedding)
2005 Mother Of Bride Dress
A 2005 mother of bride dress tends to have a different look and feel to it than did mother of the bride dresses in the past. That's because today's mother of the bride tends to be a different sort of woman, having come of age in a different culture than the typical mother of the bride from eras gone by. Today's mother of the bride dress is as far from matronly as is the mother of the bride herself.For today's woman, a 2005 mother of bride dress needs to carry with it the sense of a woman at the prim...(related: Marriage Wedding)
Wedding Receptions: How To Set Up The Tables
Getting the wedding tables right can make a big difference to your wedding reception. Get things right, and the reception will be a great event enjoyed by all, with everyone having fun and no-one getting stressed. Get it wrong though, and people will be bored, worried and confused.There's one common mistake that people make that often kills conversations at a reception before they can even start. It's easily avoided, but I've seen way too many receptions ruined because of this one simple mistake. But I'll discuss that later - first I need to cover the seating arrangements...When ...(related: Marriage Wedding)
Wedding Preparations - Tips To Get You To The Church On Time
For many brides, the wedding ceremony starts long before they walk down the aisle to stand beside their groom at the alter. For many, it is the preparation that they have dreamed about for so long. The spa day with the brides maids, the hair, the make up, fitting of the dress, putting the final touches on the flowers... these are all taken care of ceremoniously by the bride, and her brides maids. It is a time of pampering and luxury, that we seldom have an excuse for, except on the fabulous occasion of the wedding day.Unfortunately, it is part of the day that can make or break the flow of the hours to follow. Careful planning and consideration must take place well in advance of your wedding day to ensure a schedule that can be maintained and adhered to. Nothing can create tension quite like the sce...(related: Marriage Wedding)
5 Tips To Select The Best Wedding Reception Location
Being disc jockeys, we get the opportunity to evaluate many reception facilities while having little or no bias to "sell" one location over another. Most Brides and Grooms know where they will be holding the ceremony before they decide where to have the reception, so we have compiled five observations that can help you when selecting your venue.Distance - If people have to drive a long way to get from the ceremony to the reception, some will get distracted or decide to do something else. Try to keep the reception within a 15 to 30 minute drive of your ceremony. If it is not possible to get a reception hall close to y...(related: Marriage Wedding)
Las Vegas Hotel Weddings
"Las Vegas hotel weddings give you tons of options. You can pick your setting ? from the minimal downtown hotels to the lavish hotels on the strip; pick your city ? from Venice to Paris, from Monte Carlo to good old New York; and pick your style ? from tuxedoed, buttoned down formal to tie dyed, long haired sixties radical.From champagne to sparkling apple juice, from Pirates of the Caribbean to exploding volcanoes, pick your favorite hotel and you've only just begun to discover the boundless enthusiasm and creativity that is the trademark of a Las Vegas hotel wedding. Got lots of kids in the family ? rent the arcade at the Luxor and watch the kids go wild for hours and hours. Have lots of romanti...(related: Marriage Wedding)
Bridal Shower Gift Ideas
You've been invited to the bridal shower ? what fun! You already have a wonderful wedding gift, but you aren't sure about bridal shower gift ideas. The first rule of thumb is that a bridal shower gift is generally a bit more personal; that is, it focuses on the bride rather than the couple. So think in terms of her likes and dislikes as well as the theme of the party.Many times you can get your best bridal shower gift ideas simply by reading the invitation closely. Will they be "showering" her with gifts for her honeymoon trip? Then think about where she's going and what she's like. If they're skiing in Colorado, you have a head start. Thi...(related: Marriage Wedding)
Tips For A Lasting Marriage
My parents gave me this advice about marriage. They have been married since the 1960s and are still happily married to each other.In marriage, when ...(related: Marriage Wedding)
site-map - Copyright © 2006 | Contact Webmaster | Weddings & Honeymoons | All Rights Reserved. | Marriage Wedding